Taylor Ramsy
5 dating mistakes guys make. I have heard it said that a wise person learns from their own mistakes, but a really wise person is smart enough to learn from the mistakes of others. If that is true then I must hang around a real ignorant crowd, because I see my guy friends make the same mistakes over and over. So guys, if you are making one of these Top 5 mistakes, STOP NOW!
Number 1, acting like you don’t care that much, acting too casual.
So I think that we try to protect ourselves against rejection mostly or we might have commitment issues which is something super common. If you have that, try and get someone to help you to overcome that because it’s the most debilitating horrible thing ever in life. Life is all about making meaningful connections to people and if you’re not able to do that, then that’s really hard and difficult.
Anyway, completely off-topic. We try to protect ourselves so what we do is we put up a wall where we act very casual about the dating process in order to protect ourselves and to make the other person feel like we don’t care that much.
Well, it’s actually a really bad idea because it gives us a vibe that you’re not interested in them. And also it gives them a vibe that you’re not trying at all to get with them, which if someone wouldn’t try to get with you, you wouldn’t like that either.
So it just really completely ruins the whole thing or it’s self-sabotage in every kind of way so try to avoid that. I know it’s hard to basically open up your heart. I’m gonna show you that I care and that I am interested in you and that I’m willing to work for you and if you’re gonna reject me anyway.
That’s gonna hurt me a lot but at least I’ve had an actual shot because if you don’t do that, if you don’t open up to someone then you’re never gonna have a shot. So it’s just going to be self-sabotage. So that’s number one.
#2 REVEALING INSECURITIES TOO SOON
Number two is revealing insecurities on a date. Now, this is something I don’t really know how to explain it properly but I’m going to try it. So it is not smart in a lot of situations to reveal your insecurities to people and I do.
I feel a tendency to be very open about my feelings because I don’t feel like my feelings make me weak or less in control of anything but you have to realize that people will take either advantage of your insecurities or your insecurities make them initially think that you’re an insecure person.
So which is not true but if you have insecurities, that does not mean you’re an insecure person because everyone has insecurities. But if you talk about your insecurities too much, people can feel like you’re generally insecure.
That’s just unattractive because in general, security comes with happiness and confidence. We like someone that can make us feel better about ourselves. So if someone is more confident than we are or we feel like they’re more confident than we are then, we are attracted to them because we want to be that kind of confidence.
Someone seems happy, we are attracted to that because we want to be happy and in reality, nobody is confident, nobody is really that happy but that’s just what we were attracted to initially.
So I’m not saying that you should never talk about your insecurities but maybe your first date is not a great idea.
#3 IS PLAYING THE WAITING GAME
So there are kind of ties into the first one but it might be a completely different issue while you’re doing this but being too weighty and standoff-ish, it’s just not going to work for you. If you’re going to be like waiting for that person to text you or asked you on a date or just in general, waiting it’s not gonna work in your favor at all.
It’s gonna ruin everything so do try and take initiative, yeah, don’t wait it up.
#4 , Trying to be perfect or putting on an act.
This goes for guys and girls. Now, this comes from within ourselves because when it comes to dating, a lot of us have a list of, like a checklist of the perfect guy, what he has to have not even like an actual like list that we have written down but in our head.
We have a certain view of what the kind of person we want to be with, should look like and be like and think like. I think, especially think like a lot of us want someone to think very similarly to ourselves and you have to realize there’s very few people out there who think it’s exactly the way that you think about a lot of issues.
So counting on meeting someone that is exactly the same or perfect in your eyes for you, the chances are very slim. Because we feel it like that about people, we feel like they feel like that about us too. So what we want to do is come across very perfect guy because you know we’re looking for perfect.
So they must be looking for perfect. So then we put on the net and that is just all wrong. Never put on an act if someone does it like you for the way you are. A lot of people won’t like you for the way you are and then, of course, you also don’t like a lot of people for the way that they are.
I mean seriously, if you think about your own perspective, how many people in life do you actually really like? Like not that many so to expect everyone to like you on a date, it’s just completely unrealistic because you’re not a special snowflake that everyone likes.
So try to just be yourself because if you don’t, you’re self-sabotaging again because later on you’re gonna show your true colors but it’s gonna break anyway. Nothing long-term will come of it if you are not being who you are
#5 TALKING TOO MUCH OVER TEXT
It’s actually really nice to FaceTime someone or to call someone or to you know meet up with them in real life. I think the just the texting, first of all, it’s tiring, it’s so tiring because it is so detached from the real world.
So you end up not really having so much to talk about. It’s the most boring environment to have a conversation ever and even though it can be fun to exchange a few texts, it doesn’t mean you have to just text constantly and only or exclusively.
Basically, sometimes saying so it’s a lot nicer to be able to also speak to someone through other mediums, I think that’s a really big mistake that people make is to just talk over text.
So those are my five dating mistakes that guys make. Once again it’s kind of a place to everyone but try to really think about guys when I made this. I hope you enjoyed this article.